Cold Turkey

Just a heads-up that I'm going to take a blogging/email 'fast' this week. (Don't worry Mom and best friends--I'll check and send email during normal business hours!) But after 18:00, which is when most of you are coming online, I'll be off-line. And I’m just going to be quiet on the blog (don’t worry—no travel this week, so you won’t be missing much! Unless the Tigers start a winning streak?)

I realize this probably doesn’t really impact your life too much, but for me….well, booting up the computer is about the first thing I do when I walk in the door. In a bazillion positive ways, email and blogging have been insanely helpful in making me feel connected to all my dear peeps. But I have a sorta nagging feeling that it's contributing to me not totally connecting to folks here in a real way.

We've been talking a bit about generosity at the Well. And what I’ve been realizing is that giving isn’t so hard for me, but receiving is downright uncomfortable—bordering on terrifying. Ridonk? Totally.

There is a book by Henri Nouwen called “With Open Hands” that I brought over with me. Just picked it up in the last week or so and even though I’ve read it several times, it has a whole new freshness—as is often the case with really good books. In the chapter on Prayer and Acceptance, he writes:

“…When you give, you are the master of the situation and you can dole out the goods to those whom you think are deserving. You have control over your milieu and you can enjoy the power your possessions give you.

…Acceptance is something else. When we accept a gift, we invite others into our world and are ready to give them a place in our own lives…

…When we live from God’s breath we recognize with joy that the same breath that keeps us alive is also the source of life for our brothers and sisters. This realization makes our fear of the other disappear, our weapons fall away, and brings a smile to our lips. When we recognize the breath of God in others, we can let them enter our lives and receive the gifts they offer us…”

I remember being at a youth conference years ago where Rich Mullins was the main speaker and performer. One thing he taught was the need for us to live our lives interdependently—connected, relying and walking alongside one another. I’m so thankful for those of you who God placed in my life to do the journey with me and our ability to give and receive life-sustaining gifts (and just plain old fun presents!) to each other; to live interdependent lives.

And I think there are probably similar gifts waiting to be given and received here. But to the extent that I’m only really sharing of myself with you—however pathetically on email and this blog—well, I’m not sure I’m really entering into the fullness of my time here.

Does this make any sense?

If nothing else, the extra time will come in handy for guitar practice. My teacher sent me home with a new, rather challenging, piece for the week. Challenging for me that is—I noticed that she worked on the piece when she was about 10 years old! Hilarious….so I got a bit of a late start….practice makes perfect.

Blessings and love.